You might think what I'm about to say is a little odd, coming from me. After all, I own a restaurant and I depend upon people's love and need to eat out as my sole livelihood. If it weren't for all of my wonderful customers day after day, I might not have the income to even think about what I am about to tell you.
Four years ago, parents, school and community officials in Ridgewood, NJ., created Ready, Set, Relax! One night a year, in March, all homework, sports practices and religious classes are canceled so families can stay home to play games and relax. According to their web site, it is the community's attempt to slow down a bit and make conscious decisions about ways to foster a balance between family time, unscheduled time and outside activities.
I'd like to take that great idea one step further.
Here is my surprising advice:
Consider cooking and eating more meals at home as a family.
Sitting down and sharing meals together is the way a family can bond. We need to talk to each other. Kids want attention and love, and what better way than to sit together, enjoy a meal, talk, laugh, and tell stories about the day?
Just by being together at home over a meal, you may learn things you had no idea were going on. We're like ships passing in the night these days.
In my own experience, when I was bringing up my five children and I look back over the memories of those days, what stands out for me are the dinners we shared every evening.
My husband was a policeman in a small town outside Boston, but nearly every night he came home at 6 pm. With his police car parked outside and his police radio positioned on the table, he would sit down for dinner with us.
That's when we had the most fun. The kids would talk about their day at school and regale their dad and me with funny stories. Mike, a humorous guy, would have us in stitches with tales about the wild and crazy calls and stories from his day on police duty. Or, we'd talk about upcoming sports activities and who scored what and all of the other things a family talks about.
The food was simple, nothing elaborate, but what was important is that we sat together. When Mike couldn't make it home, it was very disappointing to the kids. Even then, I realized and appreciated the value of being home together for dinner, knowing how fast time goes by in a family's life.
Having meals at home doesn't mean it always has to be dinner. Maybe it's breakfast or lunch.
As a working woman, I understand how hard it might seem to shop for food and cook at home. And I can even imagine what your might be thinking. You don't have the time, you are tired from your day, you may not know how to cook, or you may be bored trying to think up what to eat. So it may seem getting take out or going out for meals is easier.
That's fine. What I am suggesting is even one night a week fix a simple meal - burgers or roasted chicken - where you are focused on creating a family experience that is peaceful and relaxing. No phone calls, television or other electronic disturbances.
Imagine an easy, delicious home-cooked meal (this is why Crockpots were invented) with everyone at the table talking.
What we show our families by cooking and taking the time to sit at the table is that we love them. And, it can also be a time to pass along wisdom of past generations. I remember one year our kids wanted pairs of sneakers for all of their different activities. "Oh, no, in my day, we wore the same pair of sneakers for all sports," said my husband. They looked at him as though he were from Mars. A perfect, out-of-this-world moment cherished forever. Such as moment can only happen with a family sitting around together.
When you eat at home, you save money; you know what ingredients are in the food and you are teaching the next generation, if you have kids at home, how to cook and to take care of themselves. What better gift can you give than self-sufficiency?
Today, when my kids, now grown with children of their own, get together so many of the memories they talk about stem from the dinners we shared so long ago. As a mother looking back, I am deeply touched when I hear them reminisce.
So I applaud the the residents of Ridgewood, NJ, for slowing down and instituting Ready, Set, Relax! However, my gift to you this holiday season is not one family night a year - or even a few holiday meals together. My present would be a year filled with more home-cooked meals shared in the company of your loved ones, creating a lifetime of memories.
Carol McManus is the owner of Espresso Love in Edgartown and host of Cooking With Carol on PlumTV. She is currently writing a cookbook titled Table Talk, filled with easy to make recipes and topics for families to talk about.
